The Fair '11

I love the look on AP's face!

While I was gone to my wonderful PCA conference, Rhyne and Grandmother took the kids to the fair! I am sad I missed the memories made, but I am glad I missed the stress of keeping the kids germ free!!!!

Spider Girl, Army Man, and Optimus Prime

*Since this picture was taken, Ann Phelps is now somewhat over her Spiderman obsession- she now is obsessed with princesses, ballerinas, and Dora!!

Just a taste

Right now I am sitting in a hotel room in Atlanta, Georgia...BY MYSELF!! I came to the Amazing Grace 360 Conference hosted by the PCA. I guess having 3 kids and a husband makes you do things you wouldn't 10 years earlier. I NEVER would have gone to a conference 6 hours away by myself 10 years ago!! I have had such a good time! I haven't watched or heard the TV, I have slept in a big king sized bed comfortably (no dog or husband to share it), and I have had the pleasure of eating when and where I wanted (no searching for gluten free options)!! Now, don't tell my family this - I have missed them and by Friday (I left on Thursday), I was getting a little lonely! Thankfully God knows exactly what I need and when I need it and just when I was feeling really lonely, He put my old friends from Greenwood, MS (Westminster PCA) in my path!! They have taken me back in to the group and I haven't had to sit or eat alone the whole time I have been here! What a blessing it is to visit and reconnect with such sweet friends!!

I made the choice to come by myself because I so badly wanted to hear the speaker. Nancy Gutherie has written several books on suffering and hope. She has written other books, but her book Holding on to Hope was used by God to bring a huge change in my life. Nancy has buried two infants so I can relate to her. God was so good to me (always) right after Will was born, He didn't let me really grieve right then because He knew I needed to take care of my little 2lb. baby boy. Being a new mom with a baby in the NICU was stressful enough without working through tremendous grief. Don't get me wrong, I was upset, but I didn't truly grieve until Will was about 6 months old. That was in 2006 and boy did I think my world was crashing. Up until the loss of my boys, I had never been through BIG grief. Also, I thought my relationship with Christ was "perfect" and I was the good Christian girl who was rocking along in my own personal "perfect life'! When you go through suffering, you pray that on the other side of it, God will use it for good and His glory. That had always been my prayer, but I really expected it to be immediate. I wanted to justify my suffering quickly. I didn't want it to take years. First of all, God doesn't "owe" me reasons or explanations. But when you have a seemingly "perfect" trek in life, you don't expect anything to be tough. I can stop right here and with great gratitude to my Heavenly Father, tell you that 6 years later I can say "thank you" to Him for this suffering. Because even though it has taken me 6 years, my relationship with Him has grown tremendously. I am not like the old me - He has made me a new Christian through my suffering. I needed this suffering to bring me truly to Him.

Back to 2006- here I am going through a whirlwind of tough emotions, and our MOMS Bible study is set to study the book of Job using the Holding on to Hope book as a reference. Not only did God use this study to open my eyes and heart, He used it to heal me. Shirley Windham (a fabulous Christian teacher and friend and mentor) was the teacher that semester and God used her humbleness to reach me. She has such a gift for being so real when she teaches - she has the gift of making you feel loved and comforted when she teaches. So I was doubly blessed with a great book and teacher. Everything Nancy wrote in her book spoke straight to me. Until I read her book, I felt like no one on earth could even understand what I was feeling. She did. I was even ashamed of my feelings. I was ashamed that I was angry with God, that He didn't follow MY plan (because my way was better, right), I doubted His love for me, I wanted to run from church, I didn't even want to live anymore. I was so selfish that I prayed for Him to just take me so I wouldn't have to deal with the grief and struggles anymore. How selfish! How thankful I am He is my life planner!!!!!!! He kept me here to bring me to Him, closer and in a more personal way than I had ever felt before!!!! I now believe with my whole heart that Matthew and Harris were never meant to be MY earthly babies - they were the angels God used to transform their mom- even though they never took a breath on earth, they were used by God to open my eyes so that I could see my deep, deep need for God's grace!!! Their short existence in my life has brought so much good and everyday God has allowed me to see a little more of the good in different areas! God will never "owe" me an answer of why he chose to give me that first kind of birth experience, but how merciful he is to allow me to witness the good that has come from it!!!!

This conference has been a huge blessing because once again God used Nancy to bring me closer to him! She not only has the great gift of writing, she is a great speaker. Like Shirley, she has the gift to teach in a way that makes you feel so loved and comforted! As I sit here and type, I don't want to go home. Don't get me wrong, I miss my babies and hubby, but being in the presence of 2000 women who love the Lord and want to draw nearer to Him is, to me, a little taste of what Heaven must be like!!! A little taste of what eternity will be- praising God and feeling nothing but love and comfort. AMAZING GRACE - glory be to my Great Father!!!

It's Fall Y'all!

The reason Will's hair looks "gritty" is because

it was Gold day (it's letter 'G' this week) at school.

We sprayed his hair with gold paint!

What do you do when the weather is finally feeling like Fall?? Well, we went to the park to enjoy 2 hours of play time!! The weather felt so nice, I couldn't waste it!! The kids enjoyed a fun treat after school and I enjoyed watching them play!!

Covenant Back-to-School Night '11

My Covenant Preschoolers


Will had to feel like a Covenant
Preschooler again



Riding the train

They all three begged to ride the pony - even

though they get to ride horses all the time!

Ok- Ben told the girl he wanted a ladybug. Then

he told her to paint his nose orange because orange

is his favorite color??! Love this sweet face!

Covenant Preschool had it's Back-to-School Hoedown tonight. Even though we have been in school for over a month, having it this late gives you time to breath between all the busy-ness of back-to-school. Ben and Ann Phelps got to show Rhyne their classrooms and introduce him to their teacher - which is fun for them! They played games, rode the train and pony, and Will got to see his old friends who stayed at Covenant for K5 - which he really enjoyed (made me sad, I loved the class he was in last year, I miss all his friends too)! We are very blessed to have such a wonderful preschool for our kids!!

Life in the Fastlane

I haven't blogged lately because what you see in the picture is all we have been doing! We live in this vehicle. It takes us from 7am to 9am to drop everyone off at their schools. Traffic on I-20 and I-55 is killing me - my car doesn't go above 20mph on these interstates in the mornings! I am trying to convince my hubby that we need to move closer to Jackson (he won't leave Rankin County)! I will even settle for a lap top so I can get caught up on my room mom, MIHA, and Bible study duties while I am sitting in carpool!! So if you see this vehicle around the metro, wave and say a prayer for this tired momma!!

Aftermath and One Last Birthday Cupcake

Helping Daddy blow his candle out!


Love it!

He has worn himself out playing with all of his

birthday goodies (here he is dressed as Optimus

Prime - for those who don't know Transformers)

This is only half the debris

All is quiet at my house right now. The kids are in bed and Rhyne is watching NASCAR/Football! God has blessed me beyond measure. Every birthday I celebrate with my kids always stirs my heart and takes me back to a time when I thought I would have no children and then when Will would be an only child......how thankful I am God saw the bigger picture and knew EXACTLY what we needed!!